My Journey with CFS

In light of it being M.E/CFS awareness week this week, when is a better time to ask society to understand...

Please understand if you see me looking ok, I've likely covered my greyish/pale skin & lifeless eyes in make up & that may be the first time I have ventured out all week. This doesn't mean I am now fine, this means I am using every ounce of energy to be out the house for a limited time.

Please understand if I am in a wheelchair it is no reason to stare or feel sorry for me. It is my saving grace to help me go out & be envolved in the outside world.

Please don't say "Have you seen the doctor?" I am not stupid I am obviously doing everything I can to help my body.

Please understand if you see me on social media enjoying life, know I do enjoy life & just because I'm sick doesn't mean I don't deserve that. You may see a snapshot of my life, you don't see me 2 hours later when I am back in bed & my body is in payback for enjoying that short time joining normal society. I rarely post ill pictures of me on social media because nobody wants to see that.

Please don't say I am crazy because I choose alternative medicine to heal myself, this works for me & this is what I believe in since the science now shows it.

Please understand if I say I can't see you it isn't because I don't want to its because I am very very unwell but I hope to be well soon & I hope you will still be there for me.

Please don't try to disagree with my life & judge my decisions, unless you have lived with a chronic illness.

Please don't say I am faking it or over exaggerating my illness.

Please understand I understand this is a horrid illness to wrap your mind around. I long for the day we live in a loving society where people aren't judged for being sick or having a condition. Thankfully I have my own little society full of kind, helpful, loving friends and family & for them I am eternally grateful to Jesus for placing them all in my life to support me & stand next to me on this journey.

Thank you

Becky xoxo

I get it. Honestly I get why you don't get it. Your not a fan of the green stuff right?

Why drink green juices? Why don't you eat gluten? What is the problem with dairy?

Your cool with your western diet right and your perfectly healthy - "Maybe if you had a good burger you would feel better this green stuff isn't doing you any good." If I had a £1 for everytime someone said that to me. All I can say is I wish I was you... I wish I could not give a second thought to what I eat or where it came from or how my body will react to that food.

But the reality? The reality is if I ate corn flakes and milk for breakfast, a sandwich with processed meats + mayo for lunch and a pizza for tea, numerous cans of fizzy drinks + coffee all day, awesome for you.

For me? I can wave goodbye to any smidgen of hope of a recovery if I ate like that all day.

Celebrate in your health, say "thank you body for never failing me".

My body? It is so sensitive, it reacts to gluten, it reacts to sugar and all the foods everyone takes for granted.

I am a determined individual, I don't want to be ill. I want to be like you, I want to be well and have a life. The only way my little body will allow that to happen is if I feed it real food. If I help those little cells along. (Those 'little cells' I want to support are the mitochondria which is the power house within our cells, so I am eating to power the inside of the cell because they don't work properly for me)

I make my own organic almond milk because the shop bought versions are full of sunflower oil which have add no benefit to my body whatsoever.

I try to eat 8 fruit and veg a day because it's packed with nutrients to fuel as much energy as I can manage.

I drink 3 litres of filtered water a day to flush out the huge amount of toxins my broken body has built up.

Let me be clear this isn't a liver which is struggling, a headache which needs pills, for a lot of chronic fatigue patients the issue is at a cellular level.

What i'm trying to say is enjoy your food & enjoy your life. But please don't judge others on what they eat. We eat like his because we have health conditions and we are determined individuals who will go to great lengths to be well. Even eating green food, we may never be as well as you, but I can tell you one thing, if we ate a western diet everyday like the rest of the world our health would be even worse.

When you have a serious chronic life changing condition, juicing helps us, spinach smoothies help us, real foods heal us. Our goal is to heal & repair our broken bodies. Nutrition is the only thing which has helped my symptoms. If it takes green smoothies, organic food, wheatgrass shots and a handful of supplements a day to make me well then that's fine with me.

Bring on the green juice people!!

Becks xoxo

Lets play a game...

Ever had really really bad flu when your confined to bed? Remember and imagine that... Maybe then add on a huge hangover... OK now run 5 miles... You probably are not feeling ideal.
But it's OK you will be fine in a week and back to normal.

But let's pretend you don't have flu... You have severe chronic fatigue. Every fibre of your being aches and hurts whilst you can only lie in bed.

The tiniest bit of light which comes through your blackout curtains hurts your eyes and brain, everyone who comes into the room has to whisper because the noise is too much. You don't have the strength to lift a glass, so a straw has to do.

You rely on other people to bring you water and any food you can cope with, maybe only soup in small portions.

You switch the TV on to stop the thoughts in your mind but it's too bright and too much to handle so you can only cope with Peppa Pig, basically on mute. The furthest you can manage to walk is to the toilet and back. What's the point? Why are you even here?

You hear everyone downstairs talking about their day and having tea together, there is noway you can make it down the stairs. Life is still happening around you, even downstairs in your home you are just not in it, real life. You live in a bubble of sickness. Your body is giving up. You know it is real but you pray it is a horrible nightmare. You pray tomorrow will be a better day.

At this point, why do you continue to fight? What's the point in the numerous private functional tests? Are you really even doing it for you anymore? No. You don't care anymore. You don't want to even exist anymore. It's a battle just to live every single day. Now the only reason you continue to fight is for the other people. The people who feed you, the people who bath you, the people who cuddle you and cry with you and pray for your recovery.

I still have people asking me "Are you just abit tired?" - This isn't a case of tired. This is a case of having your life ripped apart by a debilitating chronic painful illness.

This is real life condition.

Thankfully this isn't me everyday, some days i manage to shower and come downstairs. I have started to use my mobility scooter again for small trips out the house. I have good and bad days.

All my love right now goes to my amazing friends who continue to text and visit and don't give up on me. My boyfriend who lies in bed with me and endures endless children's programmes. My family who never give up on me and support me everyday of my life. My poor parents who never imagined having their 24 year old at home needing everyday care.
Finally my beautiful baby Cockapoo who sits with me in bed and gives me constant unconditional love

It's very important to say this illness effects every person around you and I appreciate them all for sticking around.

Biggest shoutout to Peppa Pig, thanks for always being there with me in my TV screen so I never feel lonely.

Becks xoxo

Alot of people ask me what I take to treat my Chronic Fatigue/Lyme Disease so I thought I would do a quick blog post on what I do currently to heal my body:

I've been doing the Cowden Support Programme from Nutramedix for over two years now and its made an incredible different to my health and all my symptoms.

Nutrition (obviously) - I eat a clean varied diet of organic whole foods, fruits and veggies, home made meals, mostly gluten free & dairy free (& lots of herbal tea)

I take basic supplements for optimum health & mitochondria support (for energy production)
Medication for an under active thyroid after multiple tests
I sleep on a grounding sheet and keep my exposure to wifi and electromagnetic stress to a minimum. I also try to be in contact with the earth as much as I can (bare foot) Why grounding?

I try to use natural body products as much as I can (exfoliate with salt, lemon juice & olive oil, remove my make up with coconut oil) - most products contain nasties which we absorb and struggle to detox, clogging up our system. Check your make up, shampoos and products for parabens, phthalates and sodium lauryl sulphate.

I keep my environmental toxins to a minimum - be aware of mould exposure and the dangers of it, paint, household cleaners, perfumes, tap water, pesticides on foods (eat organic) - again producing toxins our bodies are not made to detox
I did Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for 2 years so I am very aware of 'how to think' basically thinking positively, being gentle with myself (thats a challenge), taking time to relax, being aware of toxic thoughts

Pacing - knowing how much I can and cannot do physically and mentally
The Perrin Technique - I've been doing this for 6 years. It is designed for CFS patients and it is draining the lymphatic system of all the toxins in our system.
Pray and trust in God - it gives me peace and a trust that God has got it all covered and he's in control