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My Journey with CFS

Nutrition. Love. Healing.

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In light of it being M.E/CFS awareness week this week, when is a better time to ask society to understand...

Please understand if you see me looking ok, I've likely covered my greyish/pale skin & lifeless eyes in make up & that may be the first time I have ventured out all week. This doesn't mean I am now fine, this means I am using every ounce of energy to be out the house for a limited time.

Please understand if I am in a wheelchair it is no reason to stare or feel sorry for me. It is my saving grace to help me go out & be envolved in the outside world.

Please don't say "Have you seen the doctor?" I am not stupid I am obviously doing everything I can to help my body.


Please understand if you see me on social media enjoying life, know I do enjoy life & just because I'm sick doesn't mean I don't deserve that. You may see a snapshot of my life, you don't see me 2 hours later when I am back in bed & my body is in payback for enjoying that short time joining normal society. I rarely post ill pictures of me on social media because nobody wants to see that. 


Please don't say I am crazy because I choose alternative medicine to heal myself, this works for me & this is what I believe in since the science now shows it.

Please understand if I say I can't see you it isn't because I don't want to its because I am very very unwell but I hope to be well soon & I hope you will still be there for me.

Please don't try to disagree with my life & judge my decisions, unless you have lived with a chronic illness. 

Please don't say I am faking it or over exaggerating my illness. 


Please understand I understand this is a horrid illness to wrap your mind around. I long for the day we live in a loving society where people aren't judged for being sick or having a condition. Thankfully I have my own little society full of kind, helpful, loving friends and family & for them I am eternally grateful to Jesus for placing them all in my life to support me & stand next to me on this journey.

Thank you 
Becky xoxo


I get it. Honestly I get why you don't get it. Your not a fan of the green stuff right?

Why drink green juices? Why don't you eat gluten? What is the problem with dairy? 

Your cool with your western diet right and your perfectly healthy - "Maybe if you had a good burger you would feel better this green stuff isn't doing you any good." If I had a £1 for everytime someone said that to me. All I can say is I wish I was you... I wish I could not give a second thought to what I eat or where it came from or how my body will react to that food.

But the reality? The reality is if I ate corn flakes and milk for breakfast, a sandwich with processed meats + mayo for lunch and a pizza for tea, numerous cans of fizzy drinks + coffee all day, awesome for you. 
For me? I can wave goodbye to any smidgen of hope of a recovery if I ate like that all day.

Celebrate in your health, say "thank you body for never failing me". 
My body? It is so sensitive, it reacts to gluten, it reacts to sugar and all the foods everyone takes for granted. 


I am a determined individual, I don't want to be ill. I want to be like you, I want to be well and have a life. The only way my little body will allow that to happen is if I feed it real food. If I help those little cells along. (Those 'little cells' I want to support are the mitochondria which is the power house within our cells, so I am eating to power the inside of the cell because they don't work properly for me)

I make my own organic almond milk because the shop bought versions are full of sunflower oil which have add no benefit to my body whatsoever.


I try to eat 8 fruit and veg a day because it's packed with nutrients to fuel as much energy as I can manage.
I drink 3 litres of filtered water a day to flush out the huge amount of toxins my broken body has built up.
Let me be clear this isn't a liver which is struggling, a headache which needs pills, for a lot of chronic fatigue patients the issue is at a cellular level.


What i'm trying to say is enjoy your food & enjoy your life. But please don't judge others on what they eat. We eat like his because we have health conditions and we are determined individuals who will go to great lengths to be well. Even eating green food, we may never be as well as you, but I can tell you one thing, if we ate a western diet everyday like the rest of the world our health would be even worse.

When you have a serious chronic life changing condition, juicing helps us, spinach smoothies help us, real foods heal us. Our goal is to heal & repair our broken bodies. Nutrition is the only thing which has helped my symptoms. If it takes green smoothies, organic food, wheatgrass shots and a handful of supplements a day to make me well then that's fine with me.

Bring on the green juice people!!

Becks xoxo











Lets play a game...

Ever had really really bad flu when your confined to bed? Remember and imagine that... Maybe then add on a huge hangover... OK now run 5 miles... You probably are not feeling ideal.
But it's OK you will be fine in a week and back to normal.


But let's pretend you don't have flu... You have severe chronic fatigue. Every fibre of your being aches and hurts whilst you can only lie in bed. 
The tiniest bit of light which comes through your blackout curtains hurts your eyes and brain, everyone who comes into the room has to whisper because the noise is too much. You don't have the strength to lift a glass, so a straw has to do. 
You rely on other people to bring you water and any food you can cope with, maybe only soup in small portions. 
You switch the TV on to stop the thoughts in your mind but it's too bright and too much to handle so you can only cope with Peppa Pig, basically on mute. The furthest you can manage to walk is to the toilet and back. What's the point? Why are you even here? 


You hear everyone downstairs talking about their day and having tea together, there is noway you can make it down the stairs. Life is still happening around you, even downstairs in your home you are just not in it, real life. You live in a bubble of sickness. Your body is giving up. You know it is real but you pray it is a horrible nightmare. You pray tomorrow will be a better day.


At this point, why do you continue to fight? What's the point in the numerous private functional tests? Are you really even doing it for you anymore? No. You don't care anymore. You don't want to even exist anymore. It's a battle just to live every single day. Now the only reason you continue to fight is for the other people. The people who feed you, the people who bath you, the people who cuddle you and cry with you and pray for your recovery. 


I still have people asking me "Are you just abit tired?" - This isn't a case of tired. This is a case of having your life ripped apart by a debilitating chronic painful illness. 
This is real life condition.



Thankfully this isn't me everyday, some days i manage to shower and come downstairs. I have started to use my mobility scooter again for small trips out the house. I have good and bad days.



All my love right now goes to my amazing friends who continue to text and visit and don't give up on me. My boyfriend who lies in bed with me and endures endless children's programmes. My family who never give up on me and support me everyday of my life. My poor parents who never imagined having their 24 year old at home needing everyday care.
Finally my beautiful baby Cockapoo who sits with me in bed and gives me constant unconditional love



It's very important to say this illness effects every person around you and I appreciate them all for sticking around.

Biggest shoutout to Peppa Pig, thanks for always being there with me in my TV screen so I never feel lonely. 


Becks xoxo


We have reached the 6 week mark of being house bound. But it's March which means it's nearly Spring & that is good news. WooHoo.


However, there is no way to know how long this will last. Another month, another 6 months?

I'm doing some functional testing myself with the private nutrition companies. Not an ideal time for my psychologist to stop working - I'm currently trying to find a new one.

I have struggled recently because my sister moved out in the summer so a lot of the time I am by myself with nobody to talk to so I am missing her a lot.



Absolutely love my friends they are amazing at the moment! Small texts mean a lot & when I'm feeling abit stronger they come and visit (one at a time please people). I'm so thankful & grateful for all of them. 

A lot of love for my man at the moment. He knew he was signing up for a girlfriend with a condition but it takes a great guy to do my weekly shop, cook my tea for me, walk Fudge & help me tidy & make my bed. He never moans about anything he just loves me everyday. I'm so proud of how he's dealing with everything & coping with me. It's hard to see someone you love so weak & down. He keeps me strong & smiling *soppiness over*



*Family photo only 2 months ago*



Bring on the light nights, peonies, dresses & sunshine...

Hope you are all well friends
Lots of love
Becks xoxo


Alot of people ask me what I take to treat my Chronic Fatigue/Lyme Disease so I thought I would do a quick blog post on what I do currently to heal my body:

  • I've been doing the Cowden Support Programme from Nutramedix for over two years now and its made an incredible different to my health and all my symptoms.
  • Nutrition (obviously) - I eat a clean varied diet of organic whole foods, fruits and veggies, home made meals, mostly gluten free & dairy free (& lots of herbal tea)

    • I take basic supplements for optimum health & mitochondria support (for energy production)
    • Medication for an under active thyroid after multiple tests
    • I sleep on a grounding sheet and keep my exposure to wifi and electromagnetic stress to a minimum. I also try to be in contact with the earth as much as I can (bare foot) Why grounding?

    • I try to use natural body products as much as I can (exfoliate with salt, lemon juice & olive oil, remove my make up with coconut oil) - most products contain nasties which we absorb and struggle to detox, clogging up our system. Check your make up, shampoos and products for parabens, phthalates and sodium lauryl sulphate.

    • I keep my environmental toxins to a minimum - be aware of mould exposure and the dangers of it, paint, household cleaners, perfumes, tap water, pesticides on foods (eat organic) - again producing toxins our bodies are not made to detox
    • I did Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for 2 years so I am very aware of 'how to think' basically thinking positively, being gentle with myself (thats a challenge), taking time to relax, being aware of toxic thoughts

    • Pacing - knowing how much I can and cannot do physically and mentally
    • The Perrin Technique - I've been doing this for 6 years. It is designed for CFS patients and it is draining the lymphatic system of all the toxins in our system.
    • Pray and trust in God - it gives me peace and a trust that God has got it all covered and he's in control

    August 2014

    OK that was meant to be short, it seems like alot but thats life with CFS/Lyme. I see it is a lifestyle change in order to be well.
    It's different for everyone but some of the above are so important if we are looking forward to a healthy future.

    Lots of love xoxo
















    It's that time again... You know... Relapse time? I hate relapse time it's so less than ideal.


    Relapse time is like the most surreal of times, like someone has come in and in one swoop taken everything you enjoy away and your like "Wow what happened there?" - you know what I mean.

    It's so annoying because there were no signs, I live by signs and there was nothing!! I felt so well, which makes it even more frustrating!

    I'm pretty much house bound, just in bed and the sofa. Thank goodness for Joe's Netflix account and these two Cockapoos. The severe fatigue, the aching, the weakness, the emotions, the brain fog, the loss of appetite, the frustrations.


    Don't get me wrong I know i am very lucky, alot live in total relapse and i'm moaning about 2+ weeks. It's so typical CFS/Lyme, who knows when it will strike and we live not knowing how long it will last for. I can't get too frustrated because it only makes things 10x worse.

    Lets just wait it out and see what happens I guess.
    It's given me alot of time for reflection, not sure on my conclusions on life... I will get back to you.
    I do know I have an amazing boyfriend, family, friends, church family & work - so I am very thankful.




    Have a healthy week
    xoxo




    If one girl can go from being bed-bound having to be bathed & fed, with test results on the floor, diagnosis after diagnosis flooding in, to now... anything can happen. 



    I'm sorry for being absent for so long, life has got so busy but I miss blogging so I am back.


    This past year has gone so fast, I am still at Waitrose & loving it. I began in November 2014 on the checkouts but now I have moved to the Operations team & I am also managing more hours. Having a job for a whole year is something I never ever thought would happen, I am very lucky that I enjoy my work & Waitrose/John Lewis is a great company to be a part of.





    In September I began the North West Partnership which is a bible training course, I'm learning so much & I have done my first talk, whilst currently doing prep for the second one next week. We are asked to do talks about certain passages in the bible and we are critiqued on those talks so we can go & serve in some way in our communities or church. I'm purely doing it to learn more about the bible & we will see what comes along.





    I eventually made it to the final year of my Naturopathic Nutrition diploma with the 'College of Naturopathic Medicine' and I passed all my final exams and assignments (yay). I hope to graduate in July 2015 so this next 7 months I have my own clients to see whilst being assessed. With the final view for September/October to be a fully up and running Nutritional Therapist specialising in Chronic Fatigue & Lyme Disease. 
    (If you are in the Manchester/Lancashire area & would be interested in a consultation for a reduced fee then please contact me, we would love more clients into the student clinic - rebecca@cotterall.com)




    Somewhere in there, to my surprise I met an amazing guy, we have been together for nearly a year now. He is so wonderful and supportive of everything I do, I wasn't sure guys like him existed or that anyone would ever accept me with all my flaws & baggage but he sees past all that & loves me as a person, I feel very lucky & extremely blessed.




    The reason behind this successful year? 

    A clean diet full of wonderfully healing foods
    My faith in Jesus & his long-term plan for me
    The Cowden Support Programme - Nutramedix
    My family & friends support network
    Pacing
    Self-belief


    We can all do it, we can all get there - together 
    Rebecca xoxo


    Tweet me: bekz24
    Instagram: bekz24

















    Hi friends

    It's been such a long time since I last did a blog post, because I am pleased to say I've been busy!



    I began at Waitrose 6 weeks ago and I love it. I am so happy there, I love to chat to the customers all day on the checkouts and all the staff are so lovely and have helped me to well and truly settle in.


    My place of work :)


    I feel so proud to have my own uniform and last week I received my first pay check. Thankfully, my health is keeping up to. I am being very careful to only do as much as I feel able to do.

    My sister & I ready for the works Christmas party


    In between working I still am going to lectures, I had a big assignment due in December so its been a busy time. 


    Christmas was pretty chilled this year, I decided not to stress myself out with buying gifts for people, I donated money to charity instead. 


    I go to bed every night & thank God for my health. I began the Cowden Protocol 18 months ago and it has literally transformed my life. I havn't been this well in over 10 years. I have a long way to go still, I have plans for 2014 but for now I am more than content. 


    There was once a time I had run out of options, only one year I was so poorly with more and more diagnosis piling in, I felt like I was drowning. I never ever thought I would be well again, I'd never work or never have a family or a life again. It makes me emotional to think back to that time and look at me now. I've given up on planning in life, you never know what is around the corner and its so exciting!



    • Nutriton
    • Paced lifestyle
    • Knowing what I can/can't do
    • CBT
    • Cowden Protocol
    • Positive attitude


    Miracles do happen. Never give up.

    Hope you all had a lovely Christmas :)
    Lots of love
    Becks
    xoxo
    Hi everyone :)

    This is the most positive of blog posts!
    I am so happy to tell everyone I have finally got my first job.

    Since I was 18 & suffered my most severe relapse I have never been well enough to work, not even part-time. In the spring of this year I decided I was ready to start applying for part-time positions. I have applied to alot of places with no luck, probably due to the fact I am 23 with zero experience apart from volunteer work here and there. It was very disheartening to keep getting rejections. 

    I kept praying that someone would see potential & just give me a chance. I will prove myself.

    Luckily, I had an interview at Waitrose earlier in the year but there was nothing suitable at the time. (I still wanted to be mindful to not have a job which would exert too much energy). Anyway, they kept me in mind & have now offered me a position one day a week.

    All my friends & family know Waitrose is where I have wanted to work for a long time, I feel so thankful & lucky to have a job there.

    I think one of the things I have missed & craved most about 'normal life' is being independent & having a job. I have watched all my friends graduate from University & go out into the world & find jobs & stand on their own two feet.

    This is such a huge deal for me, I am so excited for this next chapter of my recovery & my life! When I get that Waitrose uniform on, I will 100% cry. It's been a tough road & I have fought it & to have my first day will be very emotional. Onwards & upwards little fighters. WOOHOOO

    I am in training today & tomorrow & I officially have my first day on Thursday :)


    A huge thank you to all my friends & family who have helped me to get to this point. I am incredibly blessed to have amazing people in my life who support & help me with everything. 
    Without them I wouldn't be at this point, in good enough health, to open the next chapter.
    On a completely separate note. I love my sister.



    Becks
    xoxo

    Tweet me: bekz24
    Instagram :bekz24




    I'm pretty excited about this blog post to be honest.



    I am on The Cowden Support programme from NutraMedix so whenever I have a problem I will email their Ireland office and if I need to I can call their main office in America and speak with the main guy there. I called him this week and we had another great chat about so many different things. We talked about new research all over the world and so many different things I can be working on...



    Geopathic & Electromagnetic Stress



    I have known about Geopathic and Electromagnetic Stress for about two years now but I  was always quite sceptical about it.
    Geopathic Stress (GS) comes from any phone masts, underwater pipes, train lines and many other things (read more here - Geopathic Stress).

    Electromagnetic Stress is common for all of us because it comes from wifi, mobile phones, microwaves, TV, laptop, computer - you get the picture. Wifi is the big one and so we were advised to turn it off at night (something I strongly suggest).

    Both of these can drastically effect our health and can even contribute to a whole host of illnesses, M.E, cancer, asthma, depression, stress, allergies, so many different things. If you sleep, work or spend alot of time in a place which is under GS then obviously you are at greatest risk.

    Here's my story - We have lived in our house for 10 years, it was a brand new built estate of 40 houses. I am in no doubt (and have said it for years) it is no coincidence I have been ill for... 10 years. Since living here we have all had our periods of illness, alot of our neighbours have also suffered these past 10 years. Friends have commented to me they always feel tired in this house. I have never felt well living here, I always feel better away from this house. So when I found this explanation it was an hallelujah moment! I knew I was right. We have an intercity train line at the bottom of our garden. Say no more.

    Solution? We can't wrap ourselves in cotton wool. I would love to but I can't just up and move house. My family are also not overly excited about the idea of getting rid of the wifi.
    In order to help our bodies with these problems we need to 'ground ourselves' and protect our bodies. I have looked at grounding sheets, you put it on your bed so that while you sleep you are protected from Geopathic Stress. However, they are very expensive and I couldn't justify it. I thought is it really going to make a difference?

    Anyway, speaking to NutraMedix the guy brought it up and asked me if I have looked into it. He strongly suggested I had second thoughts and purchased a grounding sheet. He claimed that for every minute you are 'grounding' whilst you are asleep is the equivalent to taking a handful of antioxidants.
    I have also read that we will never be fully healed until we address this issue. So I thought why not, I felt it was the right thing to do. I ordered a grounding sheet (it's my early christmas presents from my parents) - health comes first. www.groundology.co.uk/products

    I also got a G-Oyster, a small disc shaped device that again, shields you from these stresses. You carry it all day in your pocket or your bag, keep it next to your bed or next to your laptop while you work. It is rapidly becoming my new best friend. I will let you all know how I get on.


    Amantilla

    He also suggested another product to add to my protocol, another herbal addition to help with stress called Amantilla. I have alot of emotional stress in my life at the moment which can deeply impact our immune systems and all our body. So any extra help I am grateful for.

    I had a lecture at the weekend all about herbs and the powerful healing properties they hold it is so fascinating! I hope to get some books and do some further research on herbs. They have definitely changed my life anyway.

    My personal view is recovery is like a sieve, for most people it won't be one single thing to heal us, it will be a mixture of all different things. It's also individual for every single person, you will never meet another person who is recovered by the exact same things you did. But if protecting ourselves from GS plugs one of the sieve holes we are abit closer to healing.

    I am hoping these small changes will show big differences in my recovery. Fingers crossed.

    Don't take my word for it, have a browse on the internet and see what you find. There are some amazing books out there on this subject. I hope you all find it as interesting as I do.

    Becks xoxo












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    About Me

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    Hi my name is Becky. I have a great love for health & nutrition, currently finishing my Nutrition diploma with CNM & cuddling lots of Cockapoos.

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