I haven't blogged in a while due to one reason. I am so confused with resent goings on with my health I still don't really know what to say.
How do I describe my emotions?
Confused
Despair
Upset
Sheer frustration
Worried
Helpless
Stressed
Lost
I feel the past few months have been consumed with the one big question...
"Do I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Lymes Disease?"
(or both because long-term Lymes can cause CFS)
It's a huge mind-field and I don't know where to start to explain it all.
Firstly, I could have Lymes Disease because I was bitten by a tick when I was 8 and ever since I haven't been 'normal' and grown worse and worse. Coincidence?
Both illnesses present with the same symptoms that's why I have never been bothered about which I have because it doesn't really matter to me. However, since the recent relapse in January I feel at the age of 22 I need to know. With the added reason, I have researched Lymes Disease more and if left untreated can grow worse & worse over time. Problem is, ask any specialist and they will tell you it's very hard to get a correct diagnosis because it is so rare and complex of an illness.
I had blood tests done in Germany (because this clinic are supposed to be the best in Europe for Lymes) and received an email which made us believe I didn't have Lymes but apparently we were mistaken. So after one week of feeling like finally we know, lets look at the positives and move on...
We then got another email from the specialist who thinks I have signs of Lymes but still will not give a conclusive yes/no answer. So now we're back to not having a clue what's going on.
My parents have been to two Lymes Disease conferences in Dublin & Carlisle to find answers, treatment and to gain a wider knowledge about the illness.
Problem is, I can go ahead and start the treatment for Lymes Disease and if I see a big difference in my health that will tick another box that I have it because I am responding to treatment. However, this is difficult to do with my current stomach issues because we are not sure the treatment will even be absorbed.
I want to bury my head in the ground like an ostrich at the moment I'm so frustrated.
Am I being unreasonable wanting a doctor to say "Here is what is wrong with you, do this and you'll be better".
I just want answers so I can get the correct treatment and try to rebuild my life again.
Confused? Yeah, me too.
