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My Journey with CFS

Nutrition. Love. Healing.

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If one girl can go from being bed-bound having to be bathed & fed, with test results on the floor, diagnosis after diagnosis flooding in, to now... anything can happen. 



I'm sorry for being absent for so long, life has got so busy but I miss blogging so I am back.


This past year has gone so fast, I am still at Waitrose & loving it. I began in November 2014 on the checkouts but now I have moved to the Operations team & I am also managing more hours. Having a job for a whole year is something I never ever thought would happen, I am very lucky that I enjoy my work & Waitrose/John Lewis is a great company to be a part of.



In September I began the North West Partnership which is a bible training course, I'm learning so much & I have done my first talk, whilst currently doing prep for the second one next week. We are asked to do talks about certain passages in the bible and we are critiqued on those talks so we can go & serve in some way in our communities or church. I'm purely doing it to learn more about the bible & we will see what comes along.


I eventually made it to the final year of my Naturopathic Nutrition diploma with the 'College of Naturopathic Medicine' and I passed all my final exams and assignments (yay). I hope to graduate in July 2015 so this next 7 months I have my own clients to see whilst being assessed. With the final view for September/October to be a fully up and running Nutritional Therapist specialising in Chronic Fatigue & Lyme Disease. 
(If you are in the Manchester/Lancashire area & would be interested in a consultation for a reduced fee then please contact me, we would love more clients into the student clinic - rebecca@cotterall.com)
Somewhere in there, to my surprise I met an amazing guy, we have been together for nearly a year now. He is so wonderful and supportive of everything I do, I wasn't sure guys like him existed or that anyone would ever accept me with all my flaws & baggage but he sees past all that & loves me as a person, I feel very lucky & extremely blessed.

The reason behind this successful year? 

A clean diet full of wonderfully healing foods
My faith in Jesus & his long-term plan for me
The Cowden Support Programme - Nutramedix
My family & friends support network
Pacing
Self-belief


We can all do it, we can all get there - together 
Rebecca xoxo


Tweet me: bekz24
Instagram: bekz24

















Hi friends

It's been such a long time since I last did a blog post, because I am pleased to say I've been busy!



I began at Waitrose 6 weeks ago and I love it. I am so happy there, I love to chat to the customers all day on the checkouts and all the staff are so lovely and have helped me to well and truly settle in.


My place of work :)


I feel so proud to have my own uniform and last week I received my first pay check. Thankfully, my health is keeping up to. I am being very careful to only do as much as I feel able to do.

My sister & I ready for the works Christmas party


In between working I still am going to lectures, I had a big assignment due in December so its been a busy time. 


Christmas was pretty chilled this year, I decided not to stress myself out with buying gifts for people, I donated money to charity instead. 


I go to bed every night & thank God for my health. I began the Cowden Protocol 18 months ago and it has literally transformed my life. I havn't been this well in over 10 years. I have a long way to go still, I have plans for 2014 but for now I am more than content. 


There was once a time I had run out of options, only one year I was so poorly with more and more diagnosis piling in, I felt like I was drowning. I never ever thought I would be well again, I'd never work or never have a family or a life again. It makes me emotional to think back to that time and look at me now. I've given up on planning in life, you never know what is around the corner and its so exciting!



  • Nutriton
  • Paced lifestyle
  • Knowing what I can/can't do
  • CBT
  • Cowden Protocol
  • Positive attitude


Miracles do happen. Never give up.

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas :)
Lots of love
Becks
xoxo
Hi everyone :)

This is the most positive of blog posts!
I am so happy to tell everyone I have finally got my first job.

Since I was 18 & suffered my most severe relapse I have never been well enough to work, not even part-time. In the spring of this year I decided I was ready to start applying for part-time positions. I have applied to alot of places with no luck, probably due to the fact I am 23 with zero experience apart from volunteer work here and there. It was very disheartening to keep getting rejections. 

I kept praying that someone would see potential & just give me a chance. I will prove myself.

Luckily, I had an interview at Waitrose earlier in the year but there was nothing suitable at the time. (I still wanted to be mindful to not have a job which would exert too much energy). Anyway, they kept me in mind & have now offered me a position one day a week.

All my friends & family know Waitrose is where I have wanted to work for a long time, I feel so thankful & lucky to have a job there.

I think one of the things I have missed & craved most about 'normal life' is being independent & having a job. I have watched all my friends graduate from University & go out into the world & find jobs & stand on their own two feet.

This is such a huge deal for me, I am so excited for this next chapter of my recovery & my life! When I get that Waitrose uniform on, I will 100% cry. It's been a tough road & I have fought it & to have my first day will be very emotional. Onwards & upwards little fighters. WOOHOOO

I am in training today & tomorrow & I officially have my first day on Thursday :)


A huge thank you to all my friends & family who have helped me to get to this point. I am incredibly blessed to have amazing people in my life who support & help me with everything. 
Without them I wouldn't be at this point, in good enough health, to open the next chapter.
On a completely separate note. I love my sister.



Becks
xoxo

Tweet me: bekz24
Instagram :bekz24


I'm pretty excited about this blog post to be honest.
I am on The Cowden Support programme from NutraMedix so whenever I have a problem I will email their Ireland office and if I need to I can call their main office in America and speak with the main guy there. I called him this week and we had another great chat about so many different things. We talked about new research all over the world and so many different things I can be working on...

Geopathic & Electromagnetic Stress
I have known about Geopathic and Electromagnetic Stress for about two years now but I  was always quite sceptical about it.
Geopathic Stress (GS) comes from any phone masts, underwater pipes, train lines and many other things (read more here - Geopathic Stress).

Electromagnetic Stress is common for all of us because it comes from wifi, mobile phones, microwaves, TV, laptop, computer - you get the picture. Wifi is the big one and so we were advised to turn it off at night (something I strongly suggest).

Both of these can drastically effect our health and can even contribute to a whole host of illnesses, M.E, cancer, asthma, depression, stress, allergies, so many different things. If you sleep, work or spend alot of time in a place which is under GS then obviously you are at greatest risk.

Here's my story - We have lived in our house for 10 years, it was a brand new built estate of 40 houses. I am in no doubt (and have said it for years) it is no coincidence I have been ill for... 10 years. Since living here we have all had our periods of illness, alot of our neighbours have also suffered these past 10 years. Friends have commented to me they always feel tired in this house. I have never felt well living here, I always feel better away from this house. So when I found this explanation it was an hallelujah moment! I knew I was right. We have an intercity train line at the bottom of our garden. Say no more.

Solution? We can't wrap ourselves in cotton wool. I would love to but I can't just up and move house. My family are also not overly excited about the idea of getting rid of the wifi.
In order to help our bodies with these problems we need to 'ground ourselves' and protect our bodies. I have looked at grounding sheets, you put it on your bed so that while you sleep you are protected from Geopathic Stress. However, they are very expensive and I couldn't justify it. I thought is it really going to make a difference?

Anyway, speaking to NutraMedix the guy brought it up and asked me if I have looked into it. He strongly suggested I had second thoughts and purchased a grounding sheet. He claimed that for every minute you are 'grounding' whilst you are asleep is the equivalent to taking a handful of antioxidants.
I have also read that we will never be fully healed until we address this issue. So I thought why not, I felt it was the right thing to do. I ordered a grounding sheet (it's my early christmas presents from my parents) - health comes first. www.groundology.co.uk/products

I also got a G-Oyster, a small disc shaped device that again, shields you from these stresses. You carry it all day in your pocket or your bag, keep it next to your bed or next to your laptop while you work. It is rapidly becoming my new best friend. I will let you all know how I get on.


Amantilla

He also suggested another product to add to my protocol, another herbal addition to help with stress called Amantilla. I have alot of emotional stress in my life at the moment which can deeply impact our immune systems and all our body. So any extra help I am grateful for.

I had a lecture at the weekend all about herbs and the powerful healing properties they hold it is so fascinating! I hope to get some books and do some further research on herbs. They have definitely changed my life anyway.

My personal view is recovery is like a sieve, for most people it won't be one single thing to heal us, it will be a mixture of all different things. It's also individual for every single person, you will never meet another person who is recovered by the exact same things you did. But if protecting ourselves from GS plugs one of the sieve holes we are abit closer to healing.

I am hoping these small changes will show big differences in my recovery. Fingers crossed.

 Don't take my word for it, have a browse on the internet and see what you find. There are some amazing books out there on this subject. I hope you all find it as interesting as I do.
Becks xoxo













Hello, I thought I would check in with you guys because I feel I have been abit absent of late.
I guess summer is well and truly over now. My onsie and UGG boots are firmly back in my wardrobe and the shorts and dresses have been put away.

Summer has been abit up and down for me.
I finished Year 1 of lectures this June without ONE absence, I was so happy. The week before the exam I was very poorly and I literally could not revise the day before, brain fog had completely set in. Anyway, I dragged myself there and passed with a great mark. I was over the moon!! Lectures for Year 2 start again at the end of September, I can't wait :)


At the start of the summer I was so excited to get an interview at Waitrose. However, due to the fact my sister already works there and would be senior to me they couldn't offer me a position, I was so gutted. They said they liked me and perhaps if Hannah moves on they would take me on. But I can't wait around so I decided to look further afield with no luck. It is very difficult when I've never worked, I have never been well enough, so as much as we can try to make me sound amazing on a CV it is pretty bare. If I had a job I would be so happy and feel like an actual grown up!
Saying this, I have had a few low points throughout the summer. I am in the midst of one now, although feeling a little better. I'm not too sure why I have been so up and down to be honest. Maybe it was the heat in the UK this year, it can affect me badly, I think it can for all us sensitive ones :)
There has been a little bit of ongoing stress recently, perhaps it's that, who knows but I haven't changed any of my protocol.

I think I need to readjust a couple of things. Maybe a job isn't the best idea at the moment, I have already had to pull slightly back from the volunteer work with the kids at church. I did a summer bible club with the little ones in August. It was so fun, I really enjoyed it. I think it was about 150 children. I managed 3 out of 4 days so I was happy but gutted I missed that last day.

My mind is always busy with plans though, wether it's career wise, business opportunities I could make the most of, trips away. I wish there was an off switch for my brain most days. With the level of health I have reached I am always planning for what's next...



I turned 23 years old in July. Those older ones will laugh, but I seriously feel so old! I was ill on my birthday but I rested and was well enough to go out that evening with my family. We had a lovely meal and I guess being 23 isn't too bad. The devil on my shoulder is just telling me I'm not exactly where I saw myself at 23.

My Cockapoo Fudge
Last day of lectures in June :)


                 
Keep eating clean guys. Our bodies can't run on rubbish.


Smoothie time - Banana, spinach, raspberries, cold green tea & ground flaxseeds


A supplement to build me up. Full of superfoods. I do like this product, I think I will be buying it again.
A rest day. 'Made In Chelsea', mug of herbal tea & my Cockapoo in bed.
My birthday
Fudge also turned 2 in July. I obviously threw a party for her with her best doggy friends. She is loving life on this picture. Too cute.
All the girls. My sister, Poppy, Fudge & me :)
I hope you all enjoyed the summer and were able to make the most of the weather.
There is something comforting though, about being able to wear a hoody and snuggle up with a mug of green tea on a rainy day.

Lots of love & smiles
Becks xoxo

Twitter & Instagram: bekz24




My Personal Journey

I used to be very embarrassed and didn't tell anyone I went to see a psychologist. In total I had sessions with her on and off for about 3 years and this is my story about battling depression...


I was in the depth of my depression when I was about 19, a year into another serious relapse, all my friends were enjoying uni, I wasn't getting any better and I had given up I guess. As an idea I was dead against it, I didn't want to talk to some random person about the anger, upset, hurt, frustrations I felt. They probably wouldn't have CFS so how would they understand or help me in anyway! 
My parents did some research and found a recommended psychologist in Manchester city centre, she worked with people with chronic illnesses. One night I remember my thoughts had become so dark there was only one way I was going, so I decided to tell my mum to book an appointment. I was far from happy about it but I guess it was worth a shot to meet with her.

The first session I clicked with her instantly, everything I felt inside I poured out to her and I knew it was all in confidence, she by law is not allowed to mention anything I say to her outside of that room. It was very comfortable and I cried (alot) but I felt better somehow after the hour was done. I then went back the week after, and continued to go weekly for a few months until it got to every other week. She used 'Cognitive Behavioural Therapy' which is what most psychologists will use to change our unhelpful thinking.

We put together a plan, at the time I wouldn't leave the house due to severe depression and anxiety, my mum once took me to Tesco in the car, we both knew I wouldn't go in but I went for the ride and to get out the house. I sat in the car and cried because I was so scared for people to see me looking so poorly. My aim with my psychologist was to walk into Tesco and buy a loaf of bread - I laughed at her, that's never going to happen. She set me homework each week and sure enough I went into Tesco and bought that loaf of bread eventually. I continued to have sessions with her but they slowly grew further and further apart. 

Right now I haven't seen her in over 12 months because she has taught me the tools to use everyday to cope with this illness when it's so easy to think negatively! Whatever issue pops up I can use what she taught me on a very practical level. Some simple techniques.
Without that help I wouldn't be as well as i am now and have the complete determination to beat this illness for good. I have the knowledge and confidence to move forward each day.

 We may never be 'cured' from this illness, so my view is we need to change how we view ourselves with this label. That's exactly what CBT does, it works to change our ideas and perspectives on the illness and struggles we cannot change.


Depression

Depression has such a big stigma attached to it, but its near impossible to have a chronic illness and not suffer with some type of depression, whether it's for a few weeks or a few years. It's a natural response to how we feel stuck in a body which at times is a horrible place to be. Alot of people have a hard time understanding depression, anxiety and low mood, they say "Snap out of it" or "Pull yourself together" they may not realise it is the hormones within our brains not working properly. If it was so simple why would we not 'Snap out of it'. To admit there is a problem and to seek help is a very brave thing to do and sometimes it's the only way to move forwards with negative thinking patterns.

 I could be slightly controversial here, however, I was already on anti-depressants when I sought help but my personal opinion now is anti-depressants can help you deal with the depression/low mood but also they can mask the rooted reason, until the issues are dealt I knew I would always struggle. 


To this day I would say I was a positive person, I aim to see the good in everyone and any situation. If I have a bad day instead of "Oh I will never get better, another bad day of feeling so fatigued. This illness stops me from doing everything, it ruins my life and people will be annoyed I couldn't make it in today". Instead its much more helpful and kind to just think "Yes OK a bad day, but the good days far outweighs the bad days. Perhaps it's an opportunity to allow my body to get some good rest, stock up on nutrients and relax, feeling much better for the coming days. People will understand and if not it's a great opportunity to educate them." I try not to beat myself up too much, of course sometimes I do because I'm that type of personality but we need to be loving to our bodies.
The power of positive thinking is amazing, it can bring great reward.


I set you one challenge, (this helped me enormously).
Write down or just think of 3 positive things a day, everyday. They don't have to be massive or anything special, it could be "I had a great chat with a friend" or "The sun came out" or "My favourite song came on the radio". Slowly over time I noticed there actually is good things all around us even when we don't notice.

Two very important points to mention- 
  1. If you do think you are depressed then do visit your local GP or tell someone.
  2. Also, I feel it is very important to find a good psychologist. Someone you gel with and someone you feel comfortable with, this may take time but persevere.




Sorry it wasn't a very cheery post but I have said before this is a very honest blog. 
It is the honest truth behind living with a chronic illness. These issues need to be highlighted and spoken about.

Hope this finds you on a good day
Lots of love Becks xoxo


Tweet me: bekz24
Instagram: bekz24
This has just occurred to me right now.

I've been in a mini relapse for over a week now and there is no real explanation as to why it's happened. You know sometimes we think "it's because of such a thing etc" there's abit of stress at the moment I guess but nothing major. 
Anyway... I feel like a spider. I feel like someone has come and caught me and trapped me  under a glass and I am to stay here until they set me free and I can go about my life again. Who knows for how long. I don't mean anyone any harm.


I hope I am allowed to be set free soon. 

Lots of love 
Becks xoxo
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Hi my name is Becky. I have a great love for health & nutrition, currently finishing my Nutrition diploma with CNM & cuddling lots of Cockapoos.

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